Platinum_Racing Posted August 9, 2009 Share Posted August 9, 2009 Alright, I'd like to start off by saying I've had a couple to drink tonight... My girl and I have been living together for about 2 years now, and we've certainly had our ups and downs. We were drinking tonight, like we do on Saturday nights after I get out of my second job. It's our way of unwinding after a long week. She works as an assistant office manager for a supermarket, and I have a part time job at the same supermarket as a deli clerk. My primary full time job is at a machine shop as a rework technician, soon to be rework technician/glass bead peen operator. We make roughly the same amount of money per week as long as I don't work any overtime. Anyway, she has this bad habit of asking for, and getting whatever she wants. I got out of work, we ate dinner and had a couple drinks at the dinner table while talking. We moved to the living room while she watched some television and I did my own thing on the computer while half paying attention to the television. She decided she wanted to lay down, and asked if I would join her. I figured I'd lay down with her for a while then return to the computer. As soon as I layed down with her we had an argument over the covers on the bed, when she said over and over how she hated me... This started to bother me. At first I blew it off, but I just couldn't get over it. I took it for a bit longer, then stood up, went to the bedroom door, and repeated the words; "I hate you. You suck. I F@$!@% hate you" over and over again the same way she did, hoping to get the point across. If you knew me in person, you would know that I'm an extremely easy going guy, so much so that some people think I'm autistic. I used to be the polar opposite. I was very uptight and easily offended, but my former drug habit gave me a new outlook on things. That easygoing outlook was carried over with my when I stopped doing drugs. Now I'm very easygoing and extremely hard to offend, but when I do get offended I turn very stubborn, assertive, and downright nasty. My girlfriend is very judgmental and opinionated. It's gotta be her way or the highway. Some would say she wears the pants in the relationship. It turned into an argument about how my silly antics embarrass her in public, to which I replied that her semi-violent outbursts were far more embarrassing than any of my wisecracks or inside jokes. She says that shes sick of who I am and that she wants something else. This isn't the first time we visited this discussion, but all the other times we came to this agreement we decided that "We'd both try to make changes for the better", which hardly seem to work. Recently I found her sending and receiving dirty sexual text messages to her ex-boyfriend. She hasn't been with this guy in at least 6-8 years... and he is actually a good friend of mine. He is actually moving to Massachusetts from Illinois on 9/12 as our new room mate until he can get a local job and get his own apartment. He is a stand up guy and always pays his own way, so I'm not worried about his drive to support himself, but I am worried about his (And hers) fidelity. I am to fly to Illinois to help him pack and move so that we can make the trip in good time, in which time I intend to talk in detail about my feelings against his sexual text messages. My girlfriend cried when I confronted her, and assured me he's only a friend. I know I'm not perfect, infact I admit I am actually a crappy boyfriend, but I still try to do the right thing. For example, I brought her candy, flowers, a card, and a Michael Jackson CD the other week to make her feel special (Which she says I don't do enough by the way). I just don't know what to do anymore. I truly believe her relationship with this guy is platonic, as I know both of them fairly well, but I still worry that things may happen before I get home from work. I mean, if she really does "Hate" me, and she has the occasional sex talk with this ex-boyfriend, what should I expect? I know for certain I could take this guy out if it came to that (And so does he from what he's told me), but this doesn't help solve my problem.... What should I do??????? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Onthewagon Posted August 9, 2009 Share Posted August 9, 2009 Geez...I've had a couple myself so I'll stick my foot where it doesn't belong. Ex-boyfriend moving in? No way!!! It sounds like you know the guy, but still...kinda weird. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Penguin Posted August 9, 2009 Share Posted August 9, 2009 What should I do??????? Time to cut your losses and get rid of her before this gets even more messy for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrownBoy Posted August 9, 2009 Share Posted August 9, 2009 tag team her and then tell her to get the **** out? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dudeondacouch Posted August 9, 2009 Share Posted August 9, 2009 Alright, I'd like to start off by saying I've had a couple to drink tonight... My girl and I have been living together for about 2 years now, and we've certainly had our ups and downs. We were drinking tonight, like we do on Saturday nights after I get out of my second job. It's our way of unwinding after a long week. She works as an assistant office manager for a supermarket, and I have a part time job at the same supermarket as a deli clerk. My primary full time job is at a machine shop as a rework technician, soon to be rework technician/glass bead peen operator. We make roughly the same amount of money per week as long as I don't work any overtime. Anyway, she has this bad habit of asking for, and getting whatever she wants. I got out of work, we ate dinner and had a couple drinks at the dinner table while talking. We moved to the living room while she watched some television and I did my own thing on the computer while half paying attention to the television. She decided she wanted to lay down, and asked if I would join her. I figured I'd lay down with her for a while then return to the computer. As soon as I layed down with her we had an argument over the covers on the bed, when she said over and over how she hated me... This started to bother me. At first I blew it off, but I just couldn't get over it. I took it for a bit longer, then stood up, went to the bedroom door, and repeated the words; "I hate you. You suck. I F@$!@% hate you" over and over again the same way she did, hoping to get the point across. If you knew me in person, you would know that I'm an extremely easy going guy, so much so that some people think I'm autistic. I used to be the polar opposite. I was very uptight and easily offended, but my former drug habit gave me a new outlook on things. That easygoing outlook was carried over with my when I stopped doing drugs. Now I'm very easygoing and extremely hard to offend, but when I do get offended I turn very stubborn, assertive, and downright nasty. My girlfriend is very judgmental and opinionated. It's gotta be her way or the highway. Some would say she wears the pants in the relationship. It turned into an argument about how my silly antics embarrass her in public, to which I replied that her semi-violent outbursts were far more embarrassing than any of my wisecracks or inside jokes. She says that shes sick of who I am and that she wants something else. This isn't the first time we visited this discussion, but all the other times we came to this agreement we decided that "We'd both try to make changes for the better", which hardly seem to work. Recently I found her sending and receiving dirty sexual text messages to her ex-boyfriend. She hasn't been with this guy in at least 6-8 years... and he is actually a good friend of mine. He is actually moving to Massachusetts from Illinois on 9/12 as our new room mate until he can get a local job and get his own apartment. He is a stand up guy and always pays his own way, so I'm not worried about his drive to support himself, but I am worried about his (And hers) fidelity. I am to fly to Illinois to help him pack and move so that we can make the trip in good time, in which time I intend to talk in detail about my feelings against his sexual text messages. My girlfriend cried when I confronted her, and assured me he's only a friend. I know I'm not perfect, infact I admit I am actually a crappy boyfriend, but I still try to do the right thing. For example, I brought her candy, flowers, a card, and a Michael Jackson CD the other week to make her feel special (Which she says I don't do enough by the way). I just don't know what to do anymore. I truly believe her relationship with this guy is platonic, as I know both of them fairly well, but I still worry that things may happen before I get home from work. I mean, if she really does "Hate" me, and she has the occasional sex talk with this ex-boyfriend, what should I expect? I know for certain I could take this guy out if it came to that (And so does he from what he's told me), but this doesn't help solve my problem.... What should I do??????? Seems fairly obvious what you should do. Do you see yourself marrying this girl? If not, you're wasting your time and dumping stress/hardship on yourself for no reason. Get rid of her. What kind of friend can you not trust around your significant other? Not a good one, that's for sure. Get rid of him as well. If I seem blunt and heartless, it's because I've been through and seen people go through shit like this. Guess how it always turns out? Bad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BLACKSUBIE206 Posted August 9, 2009 Share Posted August 9, 2009 Just start all over forget that foo he ain't no friend if his going along with her text messages move to Seattle and you'll find a good girl Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sherrrm Posted August 9, 2009 Share Posted August 9, 2009 My ex was the type of girl that always needed to feel like shes wanted no matter if she had a guy or not because she had father issues and was raped when she was about 14 so she had a low self esteem and thought she wasn't ever good enough which isn't true because shes frikkin hot and she LOOOOVED causing fights and lieing about the stupidest things because she craved the drama..anyways she would always send texts to other guys that I had NO IDEA where she would meet or have the time and I would read them and they would be the nastiest things I've ever heard and also I found out she was texting my best friend and he thoughtfully sent her a pic of his..ya..so I dumped her because she's always going to be a slut at heart and theres no changing that and now we just fool around if we see each other or get bored and leave it at that with no strings attached and no questions asked..that's what shes good for and thats it..buddy, if she's saying she is sick of who you are and she hates you then when her ex/your friend moves in with you he'll be "the shoulder to cry on" and things will probably turn out much worse..do what you will but if she's giving you this much sh*t right now before you're married, it's going to be MUCH MUCH MUCH worse after a few more years Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sherrrm Posted August 9, 2009 Share Posted August 9, 2009 plus if he's moving to IL from MA and he's been texting her like that then he could be moving just to be with her again Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShockerGT Posted August 9, 2009 Share Posted August 9, 2009 RUN! Run as far away from her as you can. If you can't trust her, there is no reason to be with her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TPLGT Posted August 9, 2009 Share Posted August 9, 2009 Sorry to hear how it is. She sounds like a PIA. Get rid of her. It will be best in the long run. Rehab is for quitters. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pillboy Posted August 9, 2009 Share Posted August 9, 2009 ... It is still ugly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest heightsgtltd Posted August 9, 2009 Share Posted August 9, 2009 Her saying she hates you suggests that she may really resent you, and not want to be in the relationship with you. An ex who she has been sending dirty stuff back and forth with is moving in? You gotta use the nuts that god gave you and stand up for yourself! Based on the stuff you have said, I say run and don't look back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ehsnils Posted August 9, 2009 Share Posted August 9, 2009 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rallyInspired Posted August 9, 2009 Share Posted August 9, 2009 the position you are in in this relationship is not good. Make it clear to her that you both are in this relationship by choice and that you don't need or deserve to put up with all this bs. And that if she really "hates" you than it doesn't make sense for you two to be together. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zmarko Posted August 9, 2009 Share Posted August 9, 2009 I agree with everyone here. IF you try and work it out with her (which I don't suggest), do NOT let this guy move in. They've been sending dirty texts to each other, and you think it'll be ok if he's actually living in the same place? They'll be banging the first chance they get. IF you break up with your girlfriend, $10 says if you contact either one of them in the next 3 months, they're dating and/or living together. I'd cut my losses if I were you and chalk it up to a life lesson. Good luck to you man. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
underpowerd Posted August 9, 2009 Share Posted August 9, 2009 RUN! Run as far away from her as you can. and fast. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SeattleLegacy Posted August 9, 2009 Share Posted August 9, 2009 Man, make the move and get out. Call your "buddy", confront him about the texting, tell him you're not going to help him move, and he's dead to you. Tell your soon-to-be-ex that you're not going to be with someone that doesn't respect you and that you're moving out. Follow through, cut ties with both and get on with the rest of your life. Don't help her rationalize her issues or how she is. You can't change any of that, only her. It sounds like you feel like you have more of a duty to make the relationship work. Trying the same thing over and over again and expecting different results is the definition of insanity. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-TT- Posted August 9, 2009 Share Posted August 9, 2009 time to cut your losses and get rid of her before this gets even more messy for you. penguin got some good advice, you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zardoz9 Posted August 9, 2009 Share Posted August 9, 2009 You need Leykis 101 in a hurry! http://www.tenetsofleykis.com/ If you are not familiar, will certainly help you out!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 9, 2009 Share Posted August 9, 2009 man, make the move and get out. Call your "buddy", confront him about the texting, tell him you're not going to help him move, and he's dead to you. Tell your soon-to-be-ex that you're not going to be with someone that doesn't respect you and that you're moving out. Follow through, cut ties with both and get on with the rest of your life. +1 OP - you're being used now. Run before you're abused. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Penguin Posted August 9, 2009 Share Posted August 9, 2009 Well there seems to be overwhelming support for option A.): DITCH THE BITCH Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dudeondacouch Posted August 9, 2009 Share Posted August 9, 2009 It's a new day, and now I'm leaning toward this. tag team her and then tell her to get the **** out It will give you closure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnAWD Posted August 9, 2009 Share Posted August 9, 2009 Wow. All I can do is echo sentiments which have already been posted. Get out and save your sanity. ASAP. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest heightsgtltd Posted August 9, 2009 Share Posted August 9, 2009 It turned into an argument about how my silly antics embarrass her in public, to which I replied that her semi-violent outbursts were far more embarrassing than any of my wisecracks or inside jokes. She says that shes sick of who I am and that she wants something else.This isn't the first time we visited this discussion, but all the other times we came to this agreement we decided that "We'd both try to make changes for the better", which hardly seem to work. Missed this the first time..so X100000 for what I said earlier.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blix Posted August 9, 2009 Share Posted August 9, 2009 I'm a chick and I think what your girl is doing is unquestionably unacceptable. Her attitude sounds like trash and the fact that she's reaching out to her old bf in sexual ways is every reason to break off the relationship. If you have any self-respect, at the least, do not let her old bf move in with you guys. I'm not saying you lack self-respect, but you will hate yourself if he does in fact move in because the situation will get so much worse and you will regret allowing him there. You will be jealous constantly. Your home should be a place to relax and be free of such tension. What you should really do is lose her. If she makes you feel like crap and gives you shit all the time, why stick around? It's not like you're married. The world is a big place - there are always better people out there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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