The female connectors are marked with the pin number on the back side. They are quite small, but they are there. When looking at the female connector from the wire side, number 1 is on the upper right and increments to the left.
If you look at any FSMs for help, there are two numbering schemes. The connectors in the car (the female ones) are named i10, i11, and i12. The connectors on the cluster (the male ones) are named A, B, and C. i10 connects to A, i11 connects to B, and i12 connects to C.
The i10/A connectors are 30 pins in all markets.
The i11/B connectors are 16 pins in all markets.
The i12/C connectors vary depending on market and version.
All US and Canadian market cars are 14 pins.
Early Japanese and Australian/NZ market cars are 14 pins, where later models are 18 pins.
I do not have information for the European market to speak as to what they would have for the i12/C.