Sorry I haven't updated, but I have been trying to catch up on stuff after being gone for several days. I ended up having Subaru tow it to the "closest" dealer. That tow was 210 miles to Steamboat Springs. Could have had it towed to Jackson, WY at 170 miles, but Steamboat is "only" 160 miles away from where I live as opposed to Jackson which is 590 miles (and incidentally where my wife and I were headed for our trip when this went down). Of course to pickup the car I will have to drive 320 miles roundtrip.
The service shop there (it is a joint service service shop of Subaru and Chevrolet because the town is small) took an initial look at it Friday morning and said either the timing belt broke or the belt tensioner broke or came loose which means that the pistons and valves probably tried to duke it out with each other. This will be the 2nd short block in ~1500 miles and now some valves/headwork too. I expecting/hoping to get a call Monday or Tuesday with the official diagnosis.